For the past two weekends Big and I have walked to the grocery store to do our shopping. He voiced the idea first and I really go for stuff like that so I jumped on it. That might not be such a big deal for some, but for me it has been a romantic scenario in my mind for a while. I don't like random walks for no reason, I prefer a utilitarian effort...so Big suggesting we take a walk to the grocery store fulfilled my unspoken desire.
It was such a nice experience to take a walk and enjoy the wonderful California weather with Big. We got to talk and just muse for a while; truly enjoy each others company. In a way it also helps us to manage our spending because we can't buy a lot since we are carrying everything home. I like to call that the makings of Domestic Bliss.
Yesterday I spent about 14 hours in front of the computer working on a major agenda and lesson plan. I'm really proud that I was so productive. I've already written and rewritten and revised and revamped my drafts and I'm still not finished, but to be sure it will be amazing once I am.
While I was working Big took a lazy Sunday on the couch by me. It was nice knowing that he was there. Lately we've been getting slowly into healthy cooking and I will probably be posting some recipes on this here blog I'm sure.
Also...I just had to add, Big is so sweet. One of my favorite things is for my coffee to be served to me and I've never told this to Big, nor have I asked him to serve my coffee...but he will do that every now and then just because he thinks about it and brings it to me without me having to ask. Today he made a fresh pot of hafcaf and brought a steamy new cup and took my stale cold cup from me and it was just so sweet of him. I think that kind of thing is romantic. I mean it's nice to help me or do nice things for me when I ask, but it's altogether different when it is unprovoked and done exactly to standard (especially when that standard isn't even known beforehand). And then tonight he served me a beer while I sit here at the computer typing this blog entry. What an adorable life.
As I strive to be mindful each day of my blessings I try to look to these small things, things that I have taken for granted in the past, as reminders and living proof.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
How-To: Bacon Cinnamon Rolls - Blog Spotlight
Essentially you partially fry up some bacon and then wrap them in pillsbury grands crescent rolls and bake. Yum!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Going Out and Coming In
You know, sometimes I think I look forward more to coming home after a long night out and about.
Don't get me wrong, it's fun to get dolled out and hit the town with your man to meet good friends and have good times! But to be honest I really enjoy the after-after party that happens when I finally get to come home and go through the ritual of stripping from the night's trappings.
Nothing feels better than slipping off your heels to release your tired sore feet or stepping out of those constricting hose or unzipping that tight dress. I had an add-on to my late night ritual; when I lived in NC the family (roomies included!) would go get some awesome junk food at cook-out which was open 24/7. These days I'm not doing the late night face stuffing bit but I still enjoy coming home.
I got to wear a knockout dress to a club the other night with big to see some friends. The dress code was very strict, and even though I was on the VIP guest list we still had to comply with the dress code so I went all out.
Once we got to the club we were escorted in and went to the VIP section where we enjoyed free bottle service in our area and a great view of the dance floor. My friend was going to be performing, but her show got canceled so instead we just sat and hang out a bit.
Later they all wanted to go to an after party. And I always go out with them after we get together. But I was just really looking forward to coming home and getting in my pjs and getting some sleep. And I'm ok with that! Once we were home big and I cuddled and cuddled until we fell asleep, it was very wonderful and much needed, definitely the high light of the night.
Don't get me wrong, it's fun to get dolled out and hit the town with your man to meet good friends and have good times! But to be honest I really enjoy the after-after party that happens when I finally get to come home and go through the ritual of stripping from the night's trappings.
Nothing feels better than slipping off your heels to release your tired sore feet or stepping out of those constricting hose or unzipping that tight dress. I had an add-on to my late night ritual; when I lived in NC the family (roomies included!) would go get some awesome junk food at cook-out which was open 24/7. These days I'm not doing the late night face stuffing bit but I still enjoy coming home.
I got to wear a knockout dress to a club the other night with big to see some friends. The dress code was very strict, and even though I was on the VIP guest list we still had to comply with the dress code so I went all out.
Once we got to the club we were escorted in and went to the VIP section where we enjoyed free bottle service in our area and a great view of the dance floor. My friend was going to be performing, but her show got canceled so instead we just sat and hang out a bit.
Later they all wanted to go to an after party. And I always go out with them after we get together. But I was just really looking forward to coming home and getting in my pjs and getting some sleep. And I'm ok with that! Once we were home big and I cuddled and cuddled until we fell asleep, it was very wonderful and much needed, definitely the high light of the night.
Creation
The other day Big and I had a glorious day together. He made one of his patented picnics and we drove to the beach. He had an errand to run on the way so we decided to make a beach trip out of it.
It was so lovely being out in the open air and the sand with him. It was also nice to get out of the house. Though I must say the new dwelling is coming along nicely. He and I have arranged and rearranged the meager furnishings we have until they were placed perfectly, it was nice that he gave input into the decorating. I also made a bunch of things and crafted many pieces for the new house.
I made a flower arrangement out of pink gerber daisies that looks like a little flower cupcake, and I decorated some tulip shaped votive holders and turned them into a pretty matching bath caddy set to hold tooth brushes and toothpaste. Little things like that. I like nesting. I will be the first to admit it. It makes me happy to create things for the house that I live in, it just makes things feel much more comfy to me.
I have been toying with the idea of creating a blog to document the things that I create. It really is such a wonderful outlet for me, and for the most part I create things just one time to give as gifts so I rarely keep them around and consequently I forget about them. It would be nice to have a collection of videos to remind me what I made and how I made it, in case I ever forget.
Reading at Night
I always had this silly little thing I wanted to do with my mate...I loved the idea of us both cuddling on the couch and taking turns reading a book to each other. I told Josh of this thing I wanted to do, I described how we could make it a reality and how much it meant to me. All he gave me was the permission to go to bed alone to read because it was hard to concentrate while the tv was on...he'd rather watch tv downstairs without me while I read alone.
Fine. I figured that was just the way it was supposed to be and I let go of my silly idea.
However Josh did gift me with my favorite book in the whole world. I love him for that even to this day. I was bragging to Big how thoughtful Josh was in finding that book for me and how much it means to me.I loved that though Josh wasn't willing to read with me he would support my reading in such a meaningful and thoughtful way.
Big is not a reader, at all. However the other day he mentioned how nice it would be if he and I took some time out at night to read back and forth to each other out of the same book. It was like he reawakened this desire of mine, just like that. Could it possibly be something I could have in my reality?
At first he thought he could make one night a week reading night. I was fine with that. So we took turns reading a chapter together. The next day, with a big grin on his face, he told me how much he enjoyed it and how he thought we should try to read like that each night. I was overjoyed! I still can't believe it.
I love how this is my idea, but it's his idea and not something I have to force or bitch about in order to get.
For the past couple nights he and I have read to each other and it has been wonderful. We are three chapters in and I've gone to sleep to the sound of his voice. I've always wanted to be told a story at night, since I was little, and it hasn't happened - I was always the one to read or tell stories to others. I don't think he truly understands just how much this means to me...especially since it came from him and wasn't something I had to force. I feel so grateful.
Fine. I figured that was just the way it was supposed to be and I let go of my silly idea.
However Josh did gift me with my favorite book in the whole world. I love him for that even to this day. I was bragging to Big how thoughtful Josh was in finding that book for me and how much it means to me.I loved that though Josh wasn't willing to read with me he would support my reading in such a meaningful and thoughtful way.
Big is not a reader, at all. However the other day he mentioned how nice it would be if he and I took some time out at night to read back and forth to each other out of the same book. It was like he reawakened this desire of mine, just like that. Could it possibly be something I could have in my reality?
At first he thought he could make one night a week reading night. I was fine with that. So we took turns reading a chapter together. The next day, with a big grin on his face, he told me how much he enjoyed it and how he thought we should try to read like that each night. I was overjoyed! I still can't believe it.
I love how this is my idea, but it's his idea and not something I have to force or bitch about in order to get.
For the past couple nights he and I have read to each other and it has been wonderful. We are three chapters in and I've gone to sleep to the sound of his voice. I've always wanted to be told a story at night, since I was little, and it hasn't happened - I was always the one to read or tell stories to others. I don't think he truly understands just how much this means to me...especially since it came from him and wasn't something I had to force. I feel so grateful.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Settling In
That is me. In the distance is LA. This is where I live, where I work, where I must strive.
I am trying very hard to take my life one day at a time because otherwise it gets really overwhelming; but I find that moving forward, regardless of how difficult, is always better than standing still.In fact sometimes standing still is terrifying. I must admit it is still tempting to go back to that type of livestyle. But I know what standing still feels like, I know how to live that way because I was there and that really didn't work out so well. Even the best of plans sometimes fall apart.
Here's to upward and onward, ever onward.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Just a Reminder...
Today I got paid to be out in the beautiful sunny California day with the gorgeous blue sky above me as I worked my job doing what I love to do.
I have sacrificed everything to get here today. I regret nothing. The choices of others are their own choices. I can no longer allow that to guide my path or my choices.
I am grateful of where my path has led me. I am grateful that I have given up my own plans and put my faith in the Lord to guide me, each opportunity is as if God has placed a path marker or arrow for me to follow forward. In fact it would almost be a sin to go backward at this point. True there are many times in which I have had to go out and create my own opportunities, they don't just fall in people's laps, but by virtue of trying and doing (as opposed to being bitter because nothing was coming to me on its own) I have found a new insight into life and I have surprised myself with my tenacity and my determination.
Times are hard. Things are hard. But when I get depressed I need only remember how blessed I am, how lucky I am to have found this job and these opportunities, and how truly and deeply fulfilling it is to do what I absolutely love for a living.
Not a lot of people can say that. In fact I was taught that I would have to just take a job, work to pay the bills, and deal with it; essentially to become a slave of my own making. I tried that. I did as well as I could. And I actually felt like a failure when I couldn't seem to keep it up. As it turns out, I have grown so much and I have allowed these new opportunities to reach me by throwing down my old walls and previous expectations of life.
Even though sometimes I cry and I miss my old life, I couldn't be happier. In fact I only cry because I wish so much that certain people from my past life would allow themselves to be a part of this experience with me because I know that they too deserve to feel the way I do, and when they refuse it makes me sad to see them so resolved to their misery.
So just as a reminder - life is good.
I have sacrificed everything to get here today. I regret nothing. The choices of others are their own choices. I can no longer allow that to guide my path or my choices.
I am grateful of where my path has led me. I am grateful that I have given up my own plans and put my faith in the Lord to guide me, each opportunity is as if God has placed a path marker or arrow for me to follow forward. In fact it would almost be a sin to go backward at this point. True there are many times in which I have had to go out and create my own opportunities, they don't just fall in people's laps, but by virtue of trying and doing (as opposed to being bitter because nothing was coming to me on its own) I have found a new insight into life and I have surprised myself with my tenacity and my determination.
Times are hard. Things are hard. But when I get depressed I need only remember how blessed I am, how lucky I am to have found this job and these opportunities, and how truly and deeply fulfilling it is to do what I absolutely love for a living.
Not a lot of people can say that. In fact I was taught that I would have to just take a job, work to pay the bills, and deal with it; essentially to become a slave of my own making. I tried that. I did as well as I could. And I actually felt like a failure when I couldn't seem to keep it up. As it turns out, I have grown so much and I have allowed these new opportunities to reach me by throwing down my old walls and previous expectations of life.
Even though sometimes I cry and I miss my old life, I couldn't be happier. In fact I only cry because I wish so much that certain people from my past life would allow themselves to be a part of this experience with me because I know that they too deserve to feel the way I do, and when they refuse it makes me sad to see them so resolved to their misery.
So just as a reminder - life is good.
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