Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tarot Reading

I haven't had an opportunity to do a tarot reading since the last one with Janice. This time I was on my own. I haven't done a reading on myself since I can't even remember. Tonight I did a 3 spread. As I handled the deck I thought of my issue, I have been feeling a niggling feeling that I should do something, I should be doing something, I should be striving or fighting for something. I have a million ideas of "what to do" and "where do I go from here" and a good bit of those ideas are not only good ideas they are also doable...but I feel like a quail, as if when I move I will get shot down, yet I still have this itch to move.

I decided to do my spread as Me, Issue, Outcome to where the 1st card represented myself, the2nd card represented my situation, and the 3rd card represented my outcome.

1st Card: Where I am Within Myself
King of Pentacles:

The King of Pentacles is a lot like King Midas - everything he touches turns to gold. He is a pillar of financial stability, with wealth and experience to share with everybody. This is the logical conclusion of all the positive ideals of the Pentacles suit: through diligence, responsibility and attention to detail we can and will become like the King of Pentacles. He is always rich materially if not spiritually, and he encourages you to live your life like he would. When this card appears he can either represent a person in your life, or a part of yourself trying to be expressed.
No one has a stronger character than the King of Pentacles. His word is as good as his gold, and certainly just as valuable. He's similar to the Knight in that whatever he says he will do, will get done. But where the Knight takes on responsibility for the sake of responsibility, the King is in it for profit. He's a businessman to the core, the master of the material world. This could be seen as a fault, and it can certainly become so if he lets it get too far out of hand, but this rarely happens. He has too much experience and intelligence to be swept away by the allure of money; he prefers the security and peace of mind that it brings him.
A lot of people see the King of Pentacles as dull and unimaginative, but this is probably because he simply prefers old ways of thinking and acting. This is not to say that he refuses to learn new things; in fact, he likes learning and has a wide variety of skills to call upon. But the old methods usually work best for a King of Pentacles and so he sticks with them. He is relied upon because of his devotion to duty and his trustworthiness. It's rare to see a King of Pentacles get angry, because they have a steady temperament and a very long fuse. But he is unforgiving to those who violate his trust, and for those people he has absolutely no mercy.
Whenever you need the skills to manage your material affairs competently and efficiently, you can call upon the King of Pentacles. Take up all the vast challenges of the material world, and know that you can conquer them all if you work hard. Give generously of your time and resources, because by giving you often receive more, and making more money is something that all Kings of Pentacles love to do! When he appears, know that you have reached the height of achievement and you don't need to take any more risks. Simply watch for the right time to draw money and wealth to yourself. Let the King inspire you to success so you can inspire others in turn.
***I do not believe that I am the King, yet, but I know that it is within me because I do feel that drive and ambition, however I never believed in my own authority or worth as a king would, so I always feel like I should be doing more or something new. I believe that I received this card to remind me that I am doing all that I should, whether I realize it or not, and I can stay in my lane. I needed to know that I can handle life's challenges, just keep doing what I'm doing and work on my behaviors that detract from my goals such as anger and distraction.

2nd Card: The Situation or Issue at Hand
*** Ok so I picked 1 card, I promise, however these two were stuck together so much so that I thought it was one card. I wasn't sure what to do...then I read both descriptions and it seems these two much be combined.
4 of Cups
Pleasure in excess often leads to the stagnation of that pleasure and the desire for even greater things which are simply impossible. This is the lesson of the Four of Cups, a card that urges moderation in relationships and all matters of the heart. This is an apparently good and innocent card with a nasty sting lying in wait. Usually it signals a person who is surrounded by love and devotion, totally happy with himself and the life he has made. But the danger in this situation is this: if you take love for granted, you start losing it.
This statement makes more sense than you might think. If someone is loved for a long period of time, warmly and unconditionally, then they start to forget what it is like to be unloved and alone. And when you deliberately forget about the darkness, it makes special effort to show itself again. After all, the light cannot be truly appreciated if we have nothing to compare it with. The scary part is that you usually bring about the darkness by yourself, by taking for granted the love and affection you receive. Carelessness sets in and soon everything you cared for - and everyone that cared for you - has slipped away.
When the Four of Cups appears it must be taken as a warning. It bears the message that there is a lot of love in your life - but that it can and will slip away if you are not careful. If you see this card and think that there isn't a lot of love in your life, it is a sign to think again. Take a good long look at your life, and you'll see how much love there is in it. Most of the time, people do not realize the abundance they live in every day. They are too concerned with what they want, and they have no time to look at their lives and see how much they already have.
This is not to say, by any means, that you cannot strive for more in life. When you have no ambitions left, your life will start to stagnate, and you will lose interest in the things that once gave you the greatest pleasure. Having no ambition is worse than having ambitions and standards that are too lofty to reach - but not much worse. A lot of the disappointment in life comes from people who want more, but who already have all that they need. The key to overcoming this disappointment is simply to see all the good that is in your life already, and be thankful for it every day. So open up your eyes and look for yourself!
The Tower
Sometimes, when accepted and welcomed, divine wisdom and enlightenment flow freely like a calm river. The rest of the time, wisdom is blocked until it rages forth like a tidal wave and crushes anything in its path, including the recipient of the wisdom. This is the energy of the Tower card, an energy very similar to Death in that it is both a destructive and a creative force. When a building is old and decrepit, it must be demolished so that a new structure may stand in its place. The same is true of the symbolic Tower. When old attitudes and beliefs are outdated, you will have to let go of them, whether you like it or not.
In most cases, the latter is true - you do not want to give up your ideals, and you cling to them like a child to his preciou security blanket. This attempt at security ensures nothing, really, except a disastrous change that will painfully rip away that which you did not discard of your own volition. But there is a greater purpose at work here. The power of the soul and the mind is far greater than the energy of some physical thing, and it can be taken with you anywhere and always. To extend the security blanket analogy, the blanket must be taken away so the child can find power and security within himself, instead of within some material object.
When you believe material objects are more powerful than spirit and mind, you start building up a Tower of falsehoods on a very unstable foundation. If, by some miracle of engineering, it does not collapse under its own weight, you will eventually push it over yourself. The Tower falls not because Fate says so but because something within can no longer endure the strain it must bear. Sooner or later it will give out. This is a humbling experience because its lesson is that no one is invincible. The problem for most people is that they concentrate on the negatives and ignore the great opportunity that has been given to them.
The fire of the Tower card burns away all that is negative and outdated, but it leaves behind all that is positive, all that is necessary to begin your life again and replace all that was lost. In essence, this is the energy of Death and Temperance combined, because sweeping-away and building-up both happen at about the same time on the Tower. As soon as the tumbling figures on the Rider-Waite card land on the jagged rocks of reality, they are greeted with the influx of wisdom that they need to survive. And with that wisdom in hand, they can take the first step back on the true path to enlightenment: building a mental Tower to Heaven rather than a physical one.
When wisdom must be forced upon you, or when ignorance must be taken away, the Tower will appear to let you prepare yourself. If you choose to let go of what you no longer need, and accept what you do need, things will go much more smoothly and without frustration. If you ignore the warning of the Tower, however, and cling to the status quo, be prpared for a downfall. You have been oversleeping and this is your spiritual wake-up call. When the Tower is in the area, know that anything that seems secure could not really be safe at all. If a change is destined to happen, to not try to fight it, because all change happens because it is needed.
On an inner level, the destruction of Tower is akin to the breaking-down of the fortress called the ego. When you build a wall to hide your secrets or to conceal your true self, you must know that sooner or later the wall will come tumbling down. Fantasies are particularly prone to being shattered by the power of this card; the Tower dissipates them like sunlight burning away fog. Fantasies and daydreams will not help where you are going so it is best to let go of them now. Do not place your faith in illusions of security; the crown on this card must be worn on by a human head, not placed atop a tower of cold stone.
***I believe that I was given these two cards together because the lesson from the Tower, for me, wasn't the loss of my material tower...it was the loss of my tower that I built upon my former love and relationship, which has been demolished, and now I must realize that I must not take love for granted, as bricks to a wall, and I must not build my tower on a foundation that is outside myself like material things or other people's love. I already have all I need and I can be secure within myself

3rd Card: The Outcome of the Situation
Ace of Cups
Everything starts with love, so they say, and this is certainly true of the Cups suit. The Ace of Cups is the initial flow of emotion that could become a mighty river is given time and attention. It is the planted - but still dormant - seed of great love and affection in the future, the first stirrings of passion, joy and insight. The Cup on this Ace is often said to represent the Holy Grail, and just as Joseph of Arimathea was sustained by the wafer placed in the Grail each day, so too does love and emotional balance sustain our everyday lives.
Often, the Ace of Cups will predict the start of a relationship, one that is full of potential and may eventually lead to true love and happiness. But you must always remember that the Ace can show only potential, not the final result of a situation. If a relationship starts out well, it is up to the two people involved to keep it that way, and improve upon it in any possible manner. The Ace of Cups is not a guarantee of happiness, but a guarantee that you will have the chance to make happiness for yourself if you want to. If you want to develop an existing relationship, the Ace cannot help you.
In situations not involving relationships, the Ace of Cups still shows the power of love that is necessary in the situation. But love in this sense does not always refer to romance. Love is a plant with many flowers: generosity, forgiveness, peace, honesty or simply letting your feelings show. Ask your Inner Voice which kind of love you will need, and you will surely get an answer because the Ace of Cups is the card of the awakening intuition. All of these things associated with emotion and intuition run high when the Ace of Cups makes an appearance.
This is indeed a very spiritual card, not only because of its ties to the intuition and its resemblance to the Holy Grail, but because it shows the first step down a path of enlightenment and understanding. This is a period where the Inner Voice will actively manifest in your life, and your hidden dreams and desires have a chance to be realized. As with the relationship issue, now is your time to pursue those ambitions if you so choose. In the best cases the Ace of Cups will represent a powerful spiritual awakening that you must accept and embrace. Allow the light of the Universe to touch you, and allow the power of love to flow out of your heart. 
***Wow, there's a lot of the "LOVE" theme to this reading. But it makes sense given the major life changes I am still reeling from. I believe that I received this card to remind me that I should love myself. I have proven that I am devoted and I love with all I am, I have seen that I am worthy of unconditional love, I have nothing else to prove. I think that as much as I have been focused on my career, I should instead be turning inward and learn to love myself. I am prepared to go on the journey to enlightenment that is laid out in front of me.

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