One of my dearest and oldest friends is a very gifted Tarot reader, especially for me because we connect on such a deep level. I'm typically a bit of a skeptic when it comes to things like tarot and mythical things like that, and Janice is the only person I trust to read my tarot because her readings have always been true and real.
Janice is aware of my current situation, she knows that I am separated from my husband and I'm embarking on a new journey, so she asked if I'd like her to read my cards and of course I said yes. I chose a 5-card reading as it gives a better overview, at least to my opinion. Here is the outcome of the reading:
1. current situation – Disruption
this marker warns of a shaky foundation placed on a fault line. At best this reminds you that shake ups are necessary when you need a wake up call. It’s a warning for you to be diligent and alert when making decisions. This can also portend a toppling of plans or ideas, or a total destruction of something hard won, worked for, or desired.
Be reminded that the way of the god/goddess is one of mystery and chaos, and chaos is the ultimate cleanser. Disruption brings delays and upsets that have a hidden gift of opportunity with in them.
This is the time to rethink, rebuild, and refortify that which was previously unstable, or it allows you to begin anew. Without this gift, you wouldn’t be adequately supported later on, when you’ll need it most.
The greater message reminds you that, in life, all people, places, concepts, and things are but fleeting on the path to wholeness Only Spirit is stable and eternal. Such is the wisdom of Avalon.
2. your expectations – Fire Faery: creative action, optimism
The fire faery sparks ideas into action. She rules the flame of creativity and encourages you to move quickly. She is also the voice of happy optimism, showing you signs, signals, and omens to support your dreams. The fire faery gives you hope and courage and ensures that your dreams will come true if you simply act on them.
When the fire faery appears on your path, she gives you a gift – a magical sense of energy to help you complete any idea you have that serves the greater good. She signals positive outcomes for your efforts.
The fire faery brings you another gift: illumination. When you’re in the dark about something the fire fear lends you her light so that your path will be filled with illumination. All things come to light quickly when the fire fear appears.
3. Hidden Influence – The Novice: innocence, beginner, ignorance, new skill without practice, unstable curiosity
Innocense, naivete, foolishness, early knowledge not yet integrated, the ability to see the world untainted, and learning ability – these are aspects of the novice as she appears in your life.
The novice is reminding you to be teachable and humble. If you don’t know something don’t pretend that you do. Chances are that you’ll make an error that may cost you more than you wish to pay.
New information is coming, and this is the time to be open to learning and expainding. The novice also reminds you to be like a child and remember the wonder and awe you once had for the world around you…when discovering magic was an essential part of everyday experience.
The novice reminds you that you need to stop and ask yourself, “What lesson must I learn here?” The lesson is always mirrored in the experience in front of you. Dig deep into the workings of whatever situation you’re inquiring about. You don’t have to look far, for the answer is right in front of you.
Sometimes it may feel as if you have two left feet and don’t know how to dance, or that perhaps you’re fumbling in the dark and fear that you may be left behind. It’s all right to be in the “not-knowing.” This is the place where new understanding takes times to integrate.
Be gentle with yourself. The greatest gift the novice reminds you of is that you’re always at the beginning of some area of your life. Patience and slow movement is required when the novice appears.
Before moving forward, perhaps you need time to journal your thoughts and receive clarity about what the Mystery invites you to learn. Then rejoice! The novice of Avalon is on a path to higher knowledge and abundant manifestation and doesn’t stay a novice for long.
4. Advice – Letting Go
Releasing attachments, expectations, and desires yet unfulfilled – these are some of the aspects of this card. When you receive this marker on your path, you’re required to relinquish control and allow the Mysterfy to act as she will to weave life together as it is meant to be, according to the laws of the cosmos.
You cannot force something to come, or to remain, if its true place is elsewhere. Remember that what is yours can never be taken away. Allowing is this key to this marker, for what is yours will come to you.
The same applies to the past: This is the time to let go of old hurts, resentments, and unresolved anger, for they’re no longer welcome burdens on the path ahead. Old and outmoded ideas about life, how you see others, who you are based on who you were – these must also be left behind. Then you can move forward, unencumbered, stepping into the magic of the new present that leads into the best possible future.
5. Outcome - The Merlin: alchemy (making something out of nothing), justice, balance
The Merlin is the messenger of initiation and alchemy and is both the magician and the high priest. He is the masculine keeper of magic and has the ability to turn iron ore into gold. Merlin says, “You have all you need to move forward. Rejoice that all the elements you require for success are, indeed, present!”
You are given notice that, when it comes to your life and its purpose, the magical aspect of merlin can be summoned to help you find an answer that is within you. When the merlin appears, he tells you that justice will be done in all matters of your query, but not by any forceful action. Instead, ask yourself what you need to do to bring balance into your life. Are you working too hard? Do you have enough down time?
The answers you seek are not found in obvious places. It’s time to go within, through meditation and prayer, and ask the Spirit to send you signs and omens to help you chart your course. The merlin says he will lend you his wisdom and magic on this leg of your journey, until you can claim it as your own.
He message is always: “Be in the world, but not of it, and wear it only as a loose cloak about your shoulders.” You will never have to look outside yourself for answers when merlin appears. Remember, all signs and omens sent by merlin are but reflections of that which is within you already.
I feel that this is essentially telling me that life as I know/knew it is over and I have to start over as a newb, if I want to meet my expectations of action then I have to let go and give up control, but it's ok because as long as I pay attention to the new knowledge coming my way I will learn the things I need to know and I already have all the elements I need to put that new knowledge to use. Basically it's telling me that I have all I need to move forward and to process the new information and experiences I will face. I don't know what this scares me. It does.
I've been told by close friends that I could move mountains once I learn patience, gain confidence, and understand my own self worth. I've been told by friends that I am a super woman. I have very amazing friends for this reason. But I've also been told by loved ones the exact opposite, so it's hard for me to know what I believe, only what I feel...the thing is, I often feel beaten down, ill prepared, not confident, unworthy, etc. I do not know how to change the way I feel about myself, but I hope that by looking back on this reading I will see that I have what it takes and will be able to face what lies ahead.